Sunday, February 6, 2011

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Guilty

This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post hosted by all.things.fadra. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post below.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Guilty. that's how I'm feeling right now. for several different reasons. earlier I had a few brief moments of jealousy for people who aren't wives and mothers. people who can actually be selfish, put themselves first, do what THEY want to do, instead of what their spouse or children need/want of them. I know that this happens to lots of people, and it only lasted for a few moments, but the guilt part? this jealousy thing - was brought on by a teeny-bopper kids show on Disney that caught my attention... and Goose - she wanted to watch Dora. seriously? SERIOUSLY? I'm throwing a hissy fit over a DISNEY show? ugh. what in the world have I become. but the guilt actually then got worse. because a few minutes later as I rocked my Goose to sleep for her nap, I started thinking about all of my friends, family, and so many acquaintances who would kill to be in my shoes. I thought of my sister, who just before Christmas miscarried her second child...

*holy crap that went by fast.


The mad woman behind the blog said...

Girlfriend, I feel this quite often. I just want a night without a cat crawling on me, without a toddler yelling for me, without a husband snoring or worse beside me.
But guilt? Oh, you gotta let that go. We mothers have all sorts of reasons to beat ourselves up on a daily basis. Fortunately our kids won't remember us being jealous of Dora.

Thanks for coming by!

Sandi said...

Guilt is a horrible thing to overcome. I have it, too for many crazy reasons.
It's very understandable to want what one doesn't have anymore, no matter how thankful you are for what you have!
Thanks for stopping at my blog and I hope your weekend is going well :)

Marisa said...

I've felt the same way from time to time... wishing that the only responsibilities I had were to myself, not my husband or son. Wishing I could just make cereal or popcorn for dinner when my hubby wants a hot meal... wishing I could watch Oprah instead of another repetitive episode of a PBS Kids show. And then the guilt sets in and I feel horrible. I think it just comes with being a mother.

all.things.fadra said...

I feel exactly the same way. I feel guilty when I'm not with my son. Then I feel guilty when he's around and I want a break. Then I feel guilty about feeling guilty. All part of being a mom.

CaraBee said...

I don't think there is a mother around who doesn't feel guilt. We may not all feel it for exactly the same things but there is ALWAYS guilt. I can't even go in to all of the ways I feel guilty in how I am parenting. Sigh. It would take a hell of a lot more than five minutes.