Wednesday, October 20, 2010

my heart aches...

I sit here and complain about issues we're having, sleep we're losing, things that are bothersome, but easy to deal with, and they're a normal part of life... what this family is going through, is not bothersome. it's not a normal part of life. well, death is, but no parent should have to deal with the death of their child/ren... and to read the posts, and see that their faith is still so strong in the face of so much sadness, and wrongness... it's just heartbreaking, and also inspiring... please, if you're a prayerful person, keep the Matthews family and little Ezra in your prayers... they need all that they can get...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

it gets worse before it gets better?

I think I've heard that before? I'm really hoping that it's true, and that the worst is here & gone quickly... in 21 months of parenting (tomorrow) I think this is definitely my most trying time... Saturday while at my parents' house Goose was playing with my niece CJ unsupervised and bit her, hard. Hard enough that she still had marks, missing skin & little scabs yesterday, 2 days after the fact... my sister &I got into a big fight about it, because she & BIL didn't think I did/am doing enough to discipline her, and I'm not much into physical punishment (although I have tried both spanking and biting her back - as suggested to me by many, many people - neither worked anyway... she laughed when I spanked her, and bit me back when I bit her... *sigh*) G also bit children two days in a row at daycare last week, and again yesterday... and then last night while at a friend's birthday party she laid her head on my lap, then out of no-where bit ME. I'm frustrated, upset, at a loss - I just don't know to do. I try to stick with the routine they do at daycare, to keep things consistent, but even this morning her teacher told me that because the biting has increased, they are going to keep Goose a little more isolated from the rest of the class until it decreases again... which totally sucks. I'm absolutely for it, as I don't know how else to deal with the issue, and other than just kicking her out (which they aren't even considering at this point - they love her & say that she's super sweet the rest of the time, they just can't narrow down the triggers) it's the only way that they can think to get it to stop...

I get both my sister's point of view (heck, I'm upset CJ's being bit as well - I feel horrible) and also theirs at daycare (the safety of ALL the children is their top priority) and I just wish that there were some magical "cure" or something... I wish we knew the trigger, so we could take steps to prevent it/them from happening... I'm frustrated. I'm upset. I'm feeling pretty helpless also, as she almost never bites at home... and it had been a little while since she'd bitten CJ... and we'd gone three days at daycare in a row without any attempts... I thought things were getting better... they're not. They seem to be getting worse...

I did put in a call to G's doctor this morning asking for any suggestions, or advice, or ANYTHING! I'm just waiting for a call-back... I know that daycare is limited in how they discipline children (no physical punishment, etc.) and although my mom's suggestions of the things that worked with us when we misbehaved (washing mouth out with soap, squirting her in the mouth with vinegar water) might work (?) that's not something that can be done at daycare either - and happens rarely enough at home that I don't know when I might next have the opportunity to try it... but I'm up for trying almost anything at this point. well, anything short of ya know, beating my child ;)

thankfully my sister & I are okay again, not before several angry texts and lots of tears, but we're good after chatting this morning... the girls will be under constant supervision when playing together from now on (they usually are anyway, but they were left alone briefly when the latest incident occurred.) I guess I'm just going to keep praying that it gets better soon... and that this is the worst of this stage...