Monday, January 24, 2011

Momma FAIL

big.time.FAIL. but let me set-the scene before I tell you how I earned a Worst Mother of The Year Award on Friday night/Saturday morning...

Friday night was Girls Night Out with some friends (the first since Goose was born I think!!) I went to dinner & a movie with several friends (and talked my sister into coming as well) - I think there were about a dozen of us. My friend L & I rode together, as I dropped Goose off at L&C's house to hang out with their toddler Bug until hubs got in from ice fishing and joined them. We did dinner, saw the movie, chatted for a bit afterwards in the car while my sister's car warmed up (it was soooooo cold Friday night!! brrrr!!) and I got home about 12:20am... Goose was asleep in her bed, hubs was watching TV in bed and we were quickly asleep.

At some point I shut off the baby monitor. I have no idea when, but I must have done it, as it was next to me, and on when I went to sleep, but off when we woke up. Keep in mind I was really, really exhausted (my own fault) because I'd been up WAY late every night all week long (stupid Facebook and Twitter addictions, oh and also - books. they get me every time.) so I don't know if it was the exhaustion, the alcohol (kidding, I had most of one mudslide with dinner, nothing else!) or what - but apparently, I turned off the monitor.

4:00am Hubs wakes us both up by sitting up in bed and saying "is that Goose?" there was a faint screaming to be heard from downstairs over the droning sounds of the heater, humidifier and fan - and through the bedroom door. I jump out of bed and head downstairs - bleary-eyed, half asleep, only to notice as I get toward the bottom of the stair well that Goose's bedroom door is open... it was shut when I went to bed... and my poor screaming, terrified Goose was standing in the pitch-black between the living room and kitchen sobbing... she couldn't hear me over her screams, so when she turned to see me she jumped about a mile... I felt horrible... I ran to her and she snuggled into me still sobbing... Hubs was right behind me and he was.not.happy. He tried to take her from me to give her a hug so I could get her sippy of water for her and she screamed and struggled to get out of his arms and back into mine... seriously, the guilt was rough... even worse, Hubs was so angry (because it was the first time he had put her to bed in her own bed, and she woke up like that - he was certain that she would never let him put her to bed again) and he was making comments like "why did you do that?" and "I can't believe you would just shut it off, how long do you think she was screaming for us?" ummm hello? I didn't do it on purpose!! and thanks, I feel badly enough on my own, I don't need any help from YOU in that area.

We took her back to bed with us, and it was at least 30 minutes before she had calmed down enough to get the "hitch" out of her breath... even longer before she succumbed to sleep... I.felt.horrible. Luckily, she's a toddler, and she forgives (and forgets? I'm hoping!!) easily... she napped well in her room on Saturday, slept well in there Saturday night, and did pretty well in there again last night (she woke up at some point and started fussing, and Hubs brought her back to bed with us - but I have no idea what time it was!)

We really don't have any idea how long she was screaming for... she usually stays in her bed until we come get her, but I don't know who long she would have waited, usually we're getting to her within just a minute or two... plus she had opened her door, and gone through the living room to stand near the kitchen (I'm amazed she didn't come upstairs - but thankful! that's why we keep her door shut at night, so she doesn't try to come up & possibly fall down them in the dark) sooo... I 'm hoping it wasn't longer than 15-20 minutes, but with as upset as she was, I can't be sure... also, there's a niggling little feeling in the back of my head that I heard something around 2am... I'm hoping it was my phone indicating an email or something, and not the monitor that I turned off...

sooo... there it is. My big FAIL of the weekend. *sigh* hoping to NOT have another one like that anytime soon...

3 comments:

Cakabaker said...

She will be fine!

Sami said...

Toddlers are amazingly resilient. They also have short memories... D says he's amazed A woke up as he has heard he sleeps like a rock. We've had this happen with Samuel. He woke us up pounding on our bedroom door one night because D closed the door and there is a baby lock on the outside of our bedroom door so we can sleep during the day. Squeaker forgave us. It just makes you feel awful though. Hang in there.

Samantha said...

She will be okay, but it sure feels like you've really ruined them at the time. Hope you're feeling better about it.