and I want another one?

yikes. I had thought after the sheer madness of no sleep & clingy cranky toddler we went through the weekend before last that we were due for a break.. yet apparently that isn't the case (and seriously - WHY is it that Goose's WORST nights are always when Hubs is working?? he's pulling OT tonight - and the longest period of time she's slept for is an hour. over the last 3.5 hours. the shortest - 5ish minutes.) and I could really, really use a break one of these nights...ya know, just for a little while, so I can do something ... like sleep. :)

I've tried laying with her, letting her hold my hand, sitting in the rocker/recliner in her room and quietly "shushing" her (yeah. after the 7th or 8th time she climbed out of bed to come stand in front of me - I decided that really wasn't working. huh. I'm clearly brilliant. observant too.) rubbing her back, patting her back...

First I was sympathetic, I held her for a few minutes, calmed her down, had her almost asleep - and then as soon as I laid her down - she was up & crying and reaching for me... Next I tried just rubbing her back and then patting it after she'd nodded off... The next time I sat back in the chair after laying her back in bed and quietly saying "it's time for night-night, lay down Goose, go to sleep"... the time after that I was less patient "Goose - no no. lay down. don't get off that be-NO." *sigh* the time after that I sat there and told her she needed to get back in bed (yeah. it didn't work.) and this last time, just 6 minutes ago - I let her hold my hand while I crouched next to her bed, my feet & toes going numb... and once she'd rolled over still clutching my fingers, I started to slowly extricate them... just a moment ago she moved & whimpered softly... (I heard her on the monitor)...

I texted Hubs - who is blissfully working (okay, I don't know that any cop works blissfully, but in my mind tonight - it's more blissful than dealing with a screaming toddler who refuses to sleep, yes - I do have quite the imagination don't I?) the following message:

"If I'm still asleep in the recliner when you get home will you make sure I get up for work please? your daughter isn't cooperating in the sleep department."

his (humorous, I'm sure.) reply: "no"

mine back: "thanks for nothing"

H: "pshh"

M: "don't pshh me until you've spent multiple nights doing the single parent thing with a toddler who won't sleep for more than an hour - if that. kiss.mine." (yes, I do get irritable when tired. apparently Goose takes after her momma. oh wait, hubs does too. double dose.)

H: "and you want another."

M: "not yet. but yes. and still, kiss my bum right now. be safe. love you."

gotta love the late-night fatigue-induced love-filled texts eh? oh well... I'm wondering though if those will be my famous last words... I want another one? what.am.I.thinking.

oh, I remember. I'm thinking that I want Goose to grow up with her very own built-in best friend like I had... someone to play, fight, laugh & cry with... someone who will always love her - and she them, even if they don't like each other sometimes... someone who will be there for her, through the good times and bad times, the thick & thin, someone to stand up for, and who will also have her back... someone to bring even more love & joy into all of our lives... THAT is what I am thinking...

ya know, in a while... after Goose is potty trained and sleeping through the night... a year? two? I don't know for sure, but I do know that it's not yet. ;)

going to head up to try to get some sleep before the Tiny Terror is awake again... crossing my fingers that all the crying and climbing in & out of bed wore her out and she'll sleep for a few hours at least... cross your fingers eh?