rough night...

I am not fond of these nights... these nights of screaming... she's cuddled close and is almost asleep before the sudden burst of screaming as she throws herself bodily away... she refuses comfort, she thrashes & screams, only to subside minutes later holding my hands... then it repeats... and again... she finally collapses in exhausted slumber... these nights, break my heart...

it's been so long...

and I don't even know where to start, or what to say... I've kinda been thinking about posting some journal entries on here but I'm not sure... (I've been sporadically writing letters/notes/milestones in a journal since BG was born, well, a couple BEFORE she was born even, and although there weren't many entries in the early months, I've been writing fairly regularly since July... when she hit the six month mark... ) anyway - I've been thinking about doing that... and alternating those with actual BLOG POSTS about, well, babyshit & giggles :) we'll see how things go... I don't even know if anyone will read these, everyone probably thinks I fell off the face of the earth :) oh well... for tonight, BG's down, hubs is at work, and I'm calling it an early night :) g'night y'all.

Tuesday May12th - Night Waking Log

6:25 nursed 5 minutes, visited UncleB
7:10 home, diaper, change clothes, swing
7:45 nursed 15 minutes
8:00 asleep, my arms, living room, medium light
9:00 crib, awake, fussing
9:30 tylenol, nursed 10 minutes
9:40 asleep (on boob) living room, medium light
10:00 paci, rocked
11:15 bed, lovey, curled up against me

12:45 awake, crying, nursed
4:05 nursed 15-20 minutes
6:30 up

Monday May 11th - Night Waking Log

1:00 - 4 month check-up & shots

4:00 nursed 10 minutes
5:15 home, slept on my chest
6:48 awake, fussy
7:00 nursed, cried, nursed, cried
7:15 asleep, fussing, crying
9:00 nursed 15 minutes
9:20 asleep, my arms
10:00 swing, awake
11:30 tylenol, nursed 10 minutes
11:40 bed, paci, lovey

2:30
6:30 up

Sunday May 10th - Night Waking Log

3:30pm 4oz
4:00 napped
5:30 nursed
6:30 napped
8:15 nursed 10 minutes
9:50 nursed 5 minutes
11:00 bed, dim, paci, rocked

2:30 nursed, rocked
5:15 nursed 10 minutes, rocked
7:10 up

Saturday May 9th - Night Waking Log

7:00 pick-up from AK's
7:15 asleep
7:45 awake
8:00 ate 3oz, chilled, played w/Daddy
8:30 asleep, my chest, rocked, paci
10:30 bed, nursed 10 minutes

2:15 nursed 5 minutes
5:15 nursed 10 minutes
7:40 nursed 10 minutes
9:00 up

Friday May 8th - Night Waking Log

5:40 diaper change
5:45 nursed 10 minutes
6:00 spit-up, played in gym, paci, walked around, rocked
6:25 spit-up (a lot!) - fussed
6:30 nursed
6:45 spit-up again, and again
6:50 swing
7:30 paci, swayed to sleep
8:00 awake
8:15 nursed 10 minutes, read books
8:50 paci, swaying, rocking
9:10 playing with AuntK
9:30 rocked to sleep by AuntK
9:40 crib, dark
10:20 awake
10:25 nursed 15 minutes, living room, light, TV
10:50 playing w/Papa
11:15 rocking, upstairs, paci
11:25 bed, chattering
11:35 crying, paci

12-12:45 alternated sleeping w/crying
1:00 nursed 10 minutes, living room, TV, light
1:30 bed
3:00 nursed
6:30 nursed
8:30 up

Thursday May 7th - Night Waking Log

5:55 got home, changed, warmed bottle
6:05 ate 4.5oz
6:25 pooped, burped, played in gym
7:30 rocked/cuddled, paci, crib w/fan - 1/2 swaddled, lovey
8:08 awake, crying, still w/paci, held, hand, shushed, hiding, stood up, she was wide-eyed and smiled at me
8:20 nursed 15 minutes, living room, natural light, no noise
8:45 swing while I washed dishes
9:05 started fussing, diaper change
9:20 upstairs, rocked w/paci - fussy, spit-up
9:30 bed - chattering, playing w/hands, spit out paci, playing
10:00 paci, radio, still playing
11:00 nursed - asleep

2:30 nursed (refused paci) 8 minutes - asleep
5:20 chattering and kicking, nursed 5 minutes
5:45 asleep
6:40 up

4 months old today... holy crap.

So I went from 3 days before I was due, to being the mother of a 4 month old without blogging... can you believe it? I can't! that's a lie. actually I very much CAN believe it... for one - um hello, babies keep you pretty busy, for two - um hello, babies keep you very busy, and for three - um hello, hubs works nights so I'm often home alone with the BabyBear, not to mention I'm working full-time, and have been back to work since she was 6 weeks old... SUCK.

BUT - as I'm back to work, I should have plenty of time to screw around and blog right? You'd think... but instead I've been spending all my "screw-off time" playing Mafia Wars on Facebook and lamenting the fact that I have to be at work instead of spending time with my sweet baby... ya know, the usual ;)

Let me try to give you a really short version of the past four months... and then we'll see if I can return to BlogLand on a regular basis...

THE PAST 4 MONTHS: Well... BG was so tiny that learning to change her teeny tiny diapers was a bit of a challenge, and we had to get some newborn outfits as we didn't have much... weren't really expecting her to be so small!! When we left the hospital she was weighing in at 5 pounds 9.5 ounces... at her first check-up she was 5 pounds 12.5 ounces... she's now about 11 pounds I think, we'll find out for sure Monday when we go for her 4 month check-up and immunizations!! I only had enough sick & vacation time saved up to take 7 weeks paid off from work - which really sucked!!

oh babyshit... she's demanding my attention... I'll be back... I promise!